Citizens beware! As government officials search for means by which to make money; they may begin searching through old law books to check for outdated laws which have never been repealed. Just because it may be archaic and you would have never dreamed that such a law would have ever been passed let alone enforced doesn’t mean that the government wouldn’t, in its endless search to screw the citizenry, decide to enforce these laws, with a hefty fine for those who may break them.

Therefore, this week’s tips and tricks is dedicated to the outdated, archaic and generally stupid laws that still exist around the country!

1. Prunedale, California: it's illegal to have two indoor bathtubs

2. El Hoyo, California: it's against the law to set a mousetrap without a hunting license. [Get a cat!]

3. San Francisco, California: You cannot use old underwear to clean your car.

4. Lebanon, Virginia: it's illegal to kick your wife out of bed.

5. North Dakota: it’s illegal to fall asleep with your shoes on.

6. Oxford, Ohio: it’s illegal for women to disrobe in front of a man's picture,

7. Chicago, Illinois: It’s illegal to fish in your pajamas.

8. Boston, Massachusettes: It is only legal to bathe if ordered by a physician.

9. Columbus, Georgia: it's illegal to sit on your front porch in an indecent position

10. Grants Pass, Oregon: Salesmen Beware! It’s legal to throw onions at obnoxious salesmen if they don't stop knocking on the door or ringing the bell.

11. Arkansas: you can be fined if you mispronounce Arkansas (Ar-kan-saw)

12. Little rock, Arkansas: it’s illegal for men and women to flirt on the street.

13. Little Rock, Arkansas: It is legal for men to beat their wives with a stick as long as it is no bigger than 3 inches across and he does not beat her more than once a month

14. Arkansas: If a female teacher bobs her hair she cannot be given a raise

15. Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unacquainted

16. Los Angeles, California: it is illegal to bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

17. Zion, Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals

18. Carmel, New York: a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match [This should be a federal law!]

19. Pennsylvania: it is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel

20. Richmond, VA: it is illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for the coffee.

21. New York: you need a license to use a clothesline outdoors [gee, I'm a criminal!]

22. Ocean City, New York: It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town

23. New York: While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

24. West Virginia: This one’s legal! It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs

25. Virginia: If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.

26. Texas: When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.{...and how exactly does that work?]

27. Wisconsin: Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

28. Washington: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town." [Yo, I'm on my way to commit a crime, meet me at..]

29. New Mexico: Idiots may not vote. [A lot of idiots seem to be voting lately]

30. New Hampshire: It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.

31. Nebraska: Persons with gonorrhea may not marry.

32. Nebraska: It is illegal to fly a plane while drunk.

33. Montana: It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.

34. Mississippi: A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.

35. Texas: criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. [Excuse me, but I am a serial killer and I plan on killing you tomorrow at 10:00 would you mind staying home?]